takes to the water like a box spring mattress

What is it about water that is so compelling? In an attempt to find out, Matt and I set fourth to do the most logical thing we could think of: build a raft out of a box spring mattress, some styrofoam, duct tape, and an inflatable kids pool toy, and take it out on the river. We had this hunch that air floats, and we wanted to make sure. So from detritus yoinked from various dumpsters, and some paddles (hands down the most legitimate part of the entire endeavor) made from fan blades and sanded pieces of wood, we proceeded to carry/bike what was to develop over the course of the afternoon into a fine river ferring vessel. (Fine being used with some liberty in this case, but honestly, she had some float in her.)



Within an hour we had cast off into the "ahem" black, toxin-riddled, death-bringing, eye-burning, skin condition-inciting, Savannah River. Approaching the North Bank we shared a nice exchange with a Port Authority agent who stood cooly with arms crossed staring down our approaching flotsam.

"Ya'll can't dock that boat here!"

"First of all Ma'm this is NOT a boat! ...It's a box spring mattress."

"Well whatever it is, ya'll can't dock it here!"

"We understand. We don't intend to invade your shores, merely to prove a point to ourselves. Mainly that this can be done." (With little to no preparation, experience, money, or sense.)

We tagged the dock and shoved back off. I do think we took the time to laugh and high-five. No, I'm certain we did.

Having speculated 45 minutes to paddle across and back, we were quite tickled to find ourselves accomplishing the passage in a leisurely 18. The sunset over the middle of the river; illuminating our minimal effort. We waved at some passing boats. Shouted challenges at them, hoping to incite a race, which, sadly, we never got the opportunity to lose.



So what did Matt and I learn that day? Well nothing about water, just that the Savannah River is petulant. Knew that. That sunsets are great? I knew that too, but this one WAS pretty special. That we can successfully cross a river on garbage? Oh yeah, that's the life lesson there. And once again reaffirming that troublesome little bit of philosophy: "If you don't do it, it won't have happened." I swear that one has got me into more trouble and had me more fun than anything else I've ever thought of.


happy sailing everyone!